Book V: Letters of Love & Despair

Dearest love-not-to-be,

I find, I am at odds with the world now. I wish only that I could have returned to see you once more. Time for me is running out. I cannot tell you how much I have missed you. I cannot express my love in words… I hope you get on well, in my absence, not that it should be new to you. Please don’t cry for me. I am nothing but a burden to you, now. Let my heart go.

Deepest,


Dear She-who-cannot-be-had,

I met you. I truly met you.

Do you remember that first day? How I drew you across the class? Oh, I think you do. Your smile. Your eyes. It’s all about you. It’s all about you. I drew you. You saw me drawing you. You smiled. That was… Magnificent. You blushed. I blushed. We both jutted away.

We were so shy and nervous to each other. Few words exchanged, but still. Always, you smiled. Always, you sat next to me. Close. Always, I smelled your perfume. Oh, the scent of pachouli.

The first day you cast a spell on me.
And then you played a trick…

We met for coffee. It was absolutely perfect. Don’t you think we connected so well? Effortless plumes of thought flowed between us. We shared stories and laughed too. I remember you blushing, your eyes, and your finger twirling your hair, as you giggled.

But, you already had a great love.

Signed,

Sorry to exist


Dear Phantom of my Nightmares,

You have succeeded in tormenting me. I am well deserved. Remember all of the pain and sorrow, that I inflicted? You did me in, too. We’ve been on a rampage. Trial after trial.

No break.

I muster my strength. I will face you again. We will see.

The cards told me that we can be together in the stars.
But we will not, because, I am responsible.

What makes my love any better than his?
What makes my art any better?

I should give in to despair.
I should relent.

I should become a monk.

Signed,

Tortured Soul


Dear Angel of my Dreams,

You are so magnificent.

Your fragrance intoxicates me.
Your Medusa Gaze sets me in stone.
I hear your whispers in my ear.

In you, I find peace. Your love is kind to me.
I wish you weren’t a phantom. You are so intangible to me.
I wish to be held in your arms, to cry into your bosom.
I need you to tell me it will be alright, but I know it won’t be.

Just lie to me, anyway.

You are just a vision.

I am humbled in your splendor.

Sing to me, again.

Signed,

X