• Burdened.

    Just because,
    I study painting, drawing, and sculpture,
    does not mean I can’t write.
    English is my first language, after all.
    One day, I wish to speak music.

    One can never know too many different ways to express themselves.


    Why am I an artist?

    I am so alone,
    in body and soul,
    in thought,
    and in love.

    I have a deep need to communicate my ideas and feelings.
    Thus, I seek forms of expression.

    Really, I am a student of the manifestation of thought.

    It is an uncontrollable urge that compels me.
    It is divine instruction. A duty. A charge.

    Yet,
    I am a Slave.

    Though,
    I wish to be the Emperor.

    Thus,
    I create my own Empires.

    Each one in which, within I am God.

    People don’t understand a damned thing these days.
    Everyone is so wound up in fabricated bullshit.

    It took me to reach the lowest point of their dungeon,
    to find my freedom.

    Even my fellow students are blind. Most people are.

    That is why I am glad that I can see, and I can see far.
    I am Fortunate.

    Oh, to be born
    with a piercing gaze
    that sees infinitely far.
    Sometimes a blessing. Sometimes a curse.
    A gaze that sees
    hearts and souls
    and
    cuts through lies
    and
    finds the truth
    in anything.

    A capacity for examination far more than observed by many. Some call it the third eye. The all-seeing. As Alan Watts would say,
    social intelligence.

    Why do I have this burden?
    It is tiring.

    Not only do they
    gift me sight
    but they
    curse me with
    endless preminition.
    Thoughts and visions
    of futures
    always changing.
    Delightful and
    terrible things,
    seldom realized.
    Dreams
    that bring
    sudden realization.

    In my sleep,
    uncontrollably,
    astroplaning.
    Doomed to
    randomly explore
    any given time
    or plane
    for any amount of time.
    It grows me weary.

    Cartomancy,
    passed by my Matrons.
    Cards that tell fortunes,
    and lies,
    and reveal truths.
    Often,
    I abuse them to
    pry into others’ secrets.

    Hallucinations run rampant
    in my eyes
    throughout waking.
    I fear that is due to my
    many experiments
    with rogue powders
    and potions.

    Am I sick and twisted?
    The Catholics would have me at the pyre.

    November 30, 2014
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