Dear Diary,

I need to develop myself…
I feel amorphous and unfocused.

I need to reconsolidate,

zero the scale,

and decipher my role.

What is my identity?

I feel:
anxiety,
worthlessness,
and depression.

I need to support myself with my own work.
I crave self-sufficiency.
I will not slave away in a factory.

Art is my greatest interest.
I would choose to express myself in any media I could.

I also love to write.
I yearn to produce
Great and Terrible works.

Money is always on my mind.
Where do I get it?
Where has it gone?
Why is there never enough?

I am not lazy, or opposed to hard labor. I just don’t see the point in wasting my time on anything other than my life’s work.

In order to self-actuate and become me:

• Come to terms with Her
• Prioritize fitness & nutrition
• Read more books
• Create a Schedule
• Build a portfolio
• Build wealth
• Raise my self-esteem
• Become more social
• Meet new women

I have currently been enduring a long term relationship with a partner that I am no longer in love with. She lives in a different city. We are on a “trial separation”. I need the courage to tell her the truth. Though I love her, I am no longer in love with her and I need to move on.

I need to stop making excuses. There is no reason why I can’t fit physical activity into my day. I love to run, to hike, to swim, to bike and so much more.

I need to slow down and enjoy each bite when I eat a meal. I tend to over eat each and every plate. Portion control is something I must be conscious of, always. I need to eat only until I am satisfied. I need to remember to take a multi-vitamin.

I wish to become more informed. I need to read. I crave philosophy, history, fact, and fiction.

If I set myself on a proper schedule I will get more accomplished in less time.

I need to paint. Define my concepts, create my rules and execute. I want to have a massive library of sketches to work from. I need to establish my identity. I need to work, and work, until a time when it is said I have created a masterpiece and then work, and work.

I intend to make money through my creative endeavors. I can make and sell my art, distribute print media and capitalize on my various website ideas. I would like to create a magazine.

I need to raise my self-esteem as I too often succumb to the notion that everyone is negatively judging me. I would like to confidence to make great speeches. I would like to make myself more desirable to those around me to attract those I find desirable. I don’t need to be liked by everyone, I just need to increase my chances of being liked by the right people.

I would like to prioritize socializing with the friends who mean the most to me. I would also like to meet new people.

I would like to date different women if only to help me express my emotions better. I am inspired by great beauty and kind words. I need more experience with the fairer sex in order to tap into all of the things within me that are vulnerable and repressed.

Once I can overcome these obstacles and incorporate them into my life I might be on the path to happiness.

Most of all, I need to move out of my Dad’s house.