• Judgement’s Eve.

    Tomorrow night
    will be a great endeavor.
    All of my new friends and rivals
    and all of our families
    will be placed under one roof.

    The faculty will meet my mother.

    I wonder what they will say?
    Josie? Shane? Tyler? Katie? Kevin?

    I am especially excited to see
    how they choose to speak of me
    to my parents.
    Am I good or am I bad?
    I relish validation. Positive or Negative.

    This is my first big exhibition,
    sure, it’s a student affair,
    but a milestone nonetheless.

    My family will have to accept me.

    I hope all of the cute girls,
    who occupy my thoughts,
    are seen by my mother,
    So that she can say,
    “This one or that one.”

    I must remember not to be arrogant.

    Fred Stonehouse said to be
    arrogant as all hell in the studio
    but to be humble in public.

    It is important for me to be well-received.

    Tomorrow is
    the culmination of all of my trials.
    Judgement will be made,
    and each man will seek his own justice
    for me.

    I do recall my sins quite well.
    For there are
    at least two hearts left in my wake.
    I recall my transgressions
    against my mentors.
    As I betray trust.
    It’s what I do…

    Expect of me, disappointed you will be.

    What else is there for me?
    I will drive myself to ruin.
    So be it.

    No.

    It will not be worth
    all of the damage
    I will do.

    It will not be worth
    a single crushed
    heart.

    But I must move forward,
    regardless.

    I simply am…
    quite out of touch
    with the society of men
    though,
    I do not completely
    disregard my past.

    April 3, 2014
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